


Tonks Victorious

by JamRolyPoly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamRolyPoly/pseuds/JamRolyPoly
Summary: A snapshot into the beginning of the relationship between Tonks and Lupin. What was going on in Tonks' head the evening she came to Harry's aid on the Hogwarts Express in Chapter 8 of the Half Blood Prince ('Snape Victorious')? Explores the back story of Tonks and Lupin. Canon-compatible, one-shot, Tonks/Lupin, complete.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Tonks Victorious

Tonks Victorious

  
Tonks stood outside the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, listening to the muffled chatter and chinks of glasses emerging from the pub. It was 1st September 1996, and she was on duty providing extra protection for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry following He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's public appearance at the ministry in June. She was cold and tired. Her hands and feet were frozen, but she couldn't be bothered to cast bluebell flames to warm herself. If her extremities matched her numb heart, what did it matter? In the distance, she could see the lights from the great castle blazing in the gathering, gloomy dusk. The Sorting Ceremony would be taking place now, then the students would be tucking into an indulgent start-of-term feast. She hadn't eaten anything that day except for half a sandwich, from a packet delivered by a school elf for her lunch. Her throat felt too tight to eat these days, so after a few bites she had thrown the rest away. Molly had already nagged her about her weight loss, but she just wasn't hungry.

A silver light shot through the darkening street towards her. Tonks pulled herself out of her reverie and raised her wand, but lowered it as she recognised the Patronus tabby cat of Minerva McGonagall. It daintily settled at her feet before the voice of the Deputy Headmistress emerged from its mouth:

"Harry Potter is not in the castle. I believe he had been waylaid on the train, possibly stunned or otherwise incarcerated, if I am interpreting the gleeful looks from the Slytherin table correctly, that is. Please collect him and bring him to the castle gates. Send your message back when you have him."

Tonks sighed heavily and turned towards Hogsmeade station. She tried to focus on the task at hand, but Remus weighed heavily on her heart as she walked. She flicked her mousy hair out of her eyes - her usual brand of bubble-gum pink had faded over the last few weeks, and although at first she had tried to restore her hair to its usual bright vibrancy, she found she didn't have the mental energy. Her appearance wasn't the only thing that had changed; her Patronus, which used to be a lolloping, carefree hare, had been replaced with a lonely, skulking wolf. 

Tonks arrived at the station, eyes scanning the scarlet steam engine and attached carriages. Her gaze immediately alighted on one carriage in which the blinds were closed. She summoned a small handful of earth from a nearby planter and boarded the compartment, just as the train began to rumble again. Sliding open the compartment door, and seeing no sign of Harry, she scattered the dirt over the floor in front of her. A few clumps remained suspended in mid-air, telling her he was lying on the floor under his invisibility cloak. She reached down, feeling the silvery cloth under her fingertips and yanked it away. Harry Potter was curled on the carriage floor, blood all over his face and t-shirt, unable to move. Tonks swiftly performed the counter curse and she and Harry had to jump from the now moving train before it swept them out of Hogsmeade station.  
  


Apparently, Minerva had been correct in her surmises and Harry had had a run-in with Draco Malfoy. Glancing at him as he spoke, she realised with a start that his nose was clearly broken. Inwardly cursing herself for not noticing sooner, she offered to fix it. Harry looked dubious but accepted. She then gave Harry his cloak back, and he disappeared under it as they began the long walk back to the castle. Tonks summoned her wolf Patronus, instructing it silently to find a member of staff - preferably Hagrid, and failing that, another Order member, to ask them to meet her at the gates to collect Harry. As they walked, Harry tried to engage her in conversation. She did her best to reply normally, but felt her mind slipping back to Remus again.

  
  


At the last Order gathering, Remus had not even looked at her, and he had quit the room so quickly at the end of the meeting she had been unable to speak to him. Tonks knew he was avoiding her. Tears sprang to her eyes and her heart contracted at the memory. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? She had been so happy upon meeting him only a year ago. As soon as she had set eyes on him, she had just known he was The One. When he had smiled at her and shaken her hand, their eyes had locked and she was helpless. She tried to tell herself it was a passing fancy, just a crush (although at 23 she really should have been past that stage.) But as she got to know him better, his kind nature, quiet thoughtfulness and rational mind greatly appealed to her, and won her over completely. 

He was a fair bit older than herself, and at first Tonks thought that was why he was holding back. She knew her attraction to him was reciprocated; she could see it in his eyes. They had settled into a comfortable friendship. He began to laugh at her lively, playful mannerisms, and she drew him slowly out of his shell. Underneath his calm and reserved exterior was a witty, creative and intelligent man. He was gifted at drawing, and showed her sketches of his friends from school and more recent studies he had made of the Hogwarts grounds during his year teaching there. After she had badgered him for a few weeks, he had agreed to do a portrait of her. It was a true likeness, taken in soft black charcoal, and he captured a look in her eye she didn't know anyone else could see; a vulnerability, almost a fear, that she would never be good enough. She appeared to be confident, with her bubbly personality and bright hair, living life at full speed, and never acknowledging her doubts or regrets. But of course she had them, and Remus saw that. He saw _her_. 

Harry and Tonks had reached the castle gates. Harry half-jokingly suggested attempting to climb over, after his cry of _"alohomora"_ failed, and she snapped at him, citing the increased security measures. Someone was approaching, emerging from the shadows. They were too short to be Hagrid... Anger gripped her heart as she saw Severus Snape appear just as Harry pulled off his cloak. This man was the reason Remus had had to leave his teaching post at Hogwarts. He had no chance of finding employment elsewhere, and had been living off of Sirius' charity for the last two years, but of course, now Sirius was dead... Was it any wonder his confidence and self-worth were shot to pieces? How was it so many people Severus hated ended up dead or destitute? James Potter, Sirius Black - and Remus. She had recently learnt from Molly that Remus himself would not hear a word against Severus. In his defence, the Potions Master was still providing Remus with Wolfsbane potion every month without fail. Tonks had achieved O grades in her Potions OWL and NEWT - she had been taught by Severus himself, and could not deny he had immense talent. She also had to admit that she would never attempt a potion as difficult and complicated as Wolfsbane; there were so many things which could go wrong, rendering it, at best ineffective, or at worst, poisoning the drinker. Wolfsbane could not be made in bulk; each month's supply had to be freshly brewed over several days. Severus clearly spent an inordinate amount of time ensuring Remus stayed healthy and in his right mind, but Tonks could not warm to the man. Severus' callous attitude and sarcastic remarks left her seething with rage. Tonight turned out to be no exception. Their exchange lasted less than thirty seconds but he managed to let her know in no uncertain terms that he had seen and correctly interpreted the meaning of her new Patronus. He sneered at her and called her silver wolf weak, before taking Harry and disappearing into the night.

Remus had sent her the completed portrait by owl two months ago, along with a letter. She kept both in a box at home, taking them out each night and running her fingers over the words which had gouged holes in her heart. He had told her that he was a werewolf and therefore could not consider a relationship with anyone, so he wanted to make that known now ' _before you get hurt_.' He informed her that he was going to live ' _with my own kind_ ' on behalf of the Order, so would not see her again for several months, if at all; the implication being that he might not survive this mission. She knew he was grieving Sirius' death, and that this, combined with his sense of purposelessness and fears of his feelings towards her, had induced him to go on this suicide mission.

Here she had faced a choice. Should she accept his feelings and attempt to move on? But how could she, when he had taken possession of her heart from the moment she had seen him? Should she pretend she had never liked him in that way in the first place, save face, and settle for a friendship (if he survived)? But to see him regularly with no hope for a future together would hurt even more than a clean break; it wasn't an option. So she made up her mind; she would go all out and fight for him.   
  


So she had written back to him. In fact, she had done so several times. She let every shred of dignity go as she pleaded with him, then took a passive aggressive stance before descending to a full-blown rant. She almost tore the parchment as she wrote again and again that she did not care that he had lycanthropy; she loved him just as he was and that from the first moment she had seen him, she had been his. She waited and waited for his letter, feeling as though she were drowning. But he did not reply. 

Standing outside the castle gates, Tonks balled her hands into two cold fists. Severus' mocking words washed over her again, but instead of tears, she felt the fire of resolve, of determination, begin to blaze inside her chest. She growled aloud,

"Severus Snape, you will never make me regret my feelings for Remus. He is ten times the man you will ever be and I pity you - Remus may never be mine but I will always be his. Who would ever choose to be _yours_ , Severus?" The fire seemed to spread throughout her body, and she raised her wand again, summoning her silver wolf. He blossomed from the wand tip and landed lightly at her feet, ears cocked, awaiting her instructions.

"Find Remus," she ordered. "And tell him this:" She knelt by the wolf and spoke softly into the night, "Wotcher Remus, it's Tonks here. I hope you're ok. How are you? I thought my new Patronus would fit in nicely with your current surroundings... Do you like him? Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry I shouted at you in my last letter - well, I know you can't actually shout in a letter, unless it's a Howler, which it wasn't, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I was upset and scared, knowing where you were going... And if I'm honest, I wanted you to stay here with me. Remus, I know I can never understand how it feels to be in your shoes, but I want you to know that I admire you so much for being so brave and for taking this mission. You are a better man, a better person, than anyone I have ever met. I can't imagine how hard you were hit by what happened at the ministry, with losing Sirius... I know you need time, and I want to tell you now that I love you and I'll always be here for you, whether you like it or not. Anyway, that's all from me, so I'll stop rambling. Goodnight, Remus."

The Patronus wolf rose slowly and looked up at her. She nodded and it turned, stalking away into the night. Tonks walked back into Hogsmeade, where she took up her post outside the pub. She finished her shift at midnight, exchanged a few words with the Auror taking over, Robert Proudfoot, and headed home. Tonks went straight to her bedroom, hoping to get a few hours rest before her next shift began, but when she opened her bedroom door, all thoughts of sleep were forgotten. A barn owl was tapping on the window. Tonks flew across the room, fumbling with the catch and wrenching the window open. The owl hopped inside, offering her its leg, where a dirty scrappy piece of parchment was tied. Fingers trembling, she untied it, and unrolled the note.

  
  


_Dear Tonks,_

_Thank you for your message. It made the end of a very dark day seem brighter. I am ok, but my work here is not proving as fruitful as I had hoped, so I will be coming back soon. I look forward to the day I will see you again. Sleep well._

_Remus._

Tonks read the note through several times. It wasn't a profession of undying love, but neither was it a rejection. He was coming back... he was looking forward to seeing her. Tonks' stomach suddenly growled; for the first time in weeks, she was hungry. She allowed herself a small smile as she padded to her kitchenette. Severus Snape's taunts, unbeknownst to him, had compelled her to act, and now Remus Lupin was coming back and wanted to see her again. Perhaps she would have to thank the Potions Master next time she saw him.

The end of:

Tonks Victorious


End file.
